she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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