Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
