Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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