exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ladies don't puke and tell
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
