Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
