Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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