So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize