i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
