So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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