Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
