Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
