i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
