You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
