Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
