You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
