Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
