Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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