All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
