highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
