i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
