Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
