the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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