8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize