I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
