It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
