Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize