am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
