I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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