So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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