if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
