I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
