GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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