And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
