She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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