WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
