we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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