White coat. Heels.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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