wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
