Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
