That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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