Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
