dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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