please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
