oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you win again, gameday.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
