I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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