The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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