theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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