how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
