i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
