Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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