i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
