I have demons in me.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
