Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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