So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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