Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
