I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
