i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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