He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
